Lady Justice and the Quirky Arlo Quimby Read online

  “In January of 1958, Lyndon B. Johnson, then Senate Majority Leader, issued the statement: Control of space means control of the world. From space, the masters of infinity would have the power to control the earth's weather, to cause drought and flood, to change the tides and raise the levels of the sea, to divert the gulf stream and change temperate climates to frigid. There is something more important than the ultimate weapon. And that's the ultimate position. The position of total control over the earth that lies somewhere in outer space.

  “One month later, Lyndon Johnson and the Senate Special Committee on Space and Astronautics drafted a resolution to change the name of the US Army's Ballistic Missile Arsenal to the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, NASA.

  “The Soviet Union had supposedly sent unmanned spacecraft to the moon in 1959. President John F. Kennedy famously declared that the United States would reach the moon by the end of the decade in 1960, which they supposedly achieved with just nine months to spare.

  “Interestingly enough, opinion polls taken in various locations have shown that between 6% and 20% of Americans, 25% of Britons, and 28% of Russians surveyed believe that the manned landings were faked. Even as late as 2001, the Fox Television Network documentary, Conspiracy Theory: Did We Land on the Moon? claimed NASA faked the first landing in 1969 to win the space race.”

  A hand went up in the back of the room. “Dr. Speers, I hear what you’re saying, but the space program involved thousands of people, scientists, technicians, the astronauts. How could that many people keep such an enormous secret all these years?”

  I knew at least a partial answer to that question. I knew to what lengths the government had gone to keep the chemtrail conspiracy under wraps.

  “Excellent question,” Dr. Speers replied. “Let me show you a slide.”

  “As indicated on the slide, in 1967, astronaut Gus Grissom said that the U.S was at least ten years away from even thinking about a moon mission. He even hung a lemon in front of the NASA emblem to show his displeasure with the program. Five days later, he was dead. If you were involved in the space program, and you saw what the government was willing to do to keep their dirty little secrets, what would you do?

  “Here’s another slide I find interesting.”

  “These are three of our astronauts who just made a spectacular trip to the moon and back. Read the questions on the slide and decide for yourself. Also, remember, we were in a space race with Russia. It wouldn’t be difficult to sell the notion that the NASA hoax was in the country’s best interest.

  “Here’s another interesting photo.”

  “All NASA and other space agencies rocket launches never go straight up. Every rocket forms a parabolic curve, peaks out, and inevitably starts falling back to earth. The rockets which are declared successful are those few which don’t explode or start falling too soon but make it out of range of spectator view before crashing down into restricted waters and recovered. There is no magic altitude where rockets or anything else can simply go up, up, up and then suddenly just start free-floating in space”

  “But what about the space station and satellites?” someone asked.

  “Ah, yes, how about those. It is said that the space station can be seen from earth, but NASA claims that the International Space Station is on average about 240 miles up from the surface of the earth. Something would have to be pretty darn big to be seen from 240 miles away. The problem is, they claim that the station is only about as big as a football field. Take a look at this illustration”

  “Yet another discrepancy that they didn’t think of. But you see, all lies eventually fall apart. As for satellites, I think the next two slides will answer your question.”

  “Supposedly, there are thousands of them up there. You would think there would be at lease one photo that was real. The next question might be, don’t we use those satellites for communication? Check this out.”

  “I could go on and on presenting evidence of NASA’s hoax, but I’ll let you do your own homework looking up the references which I’ll have for you on a handout. I’ll leave you with this. Remember Neil Armstrong’s first giant step for mankind? Here’s NASA’s own photo of that footstep. Please note it doesn’t come close to matching the shoes he was actually wearing. Ooops!”

  “Thank you for your attention. I’ll stick around and try to answer any questions you might have.”

  We hung around for several minutes after Speers presentation to give the regular members an opportunity to talk to the guest speaker.

  When the last one was gone, he saw us standing there. “Walt, Kevin, any thoughts?”

  “Just this,” I said. “After my last meeting here, I talked to someone you folks would call a globe head. He seemed to have an explanation for everything I had heard here. If I go to him tomorrow, he probably would do the same for the information you presented.”

  “Of course he would. We’ve been questioning their conspiracy for seventy years and they’ve had seventy years to concoct a rebuttal. What you have to do is look at the information presented on both sides, then decide for yourself which is more believable.”

  “I have a friend who is an ardent believer in Occam’s Razor,” I said. “The simplest answer is often the correct one.”

  “Splendid! I’m so glad you mentioned that. Let’s look at the two options. One option is that the United States fabricated the entire space program to give the illusion that we were ahead of the Russians in the space race, and that somehow, the thousands of people involved in the hoax have chosen to remain silent. On the surface, preposterous.

  “Let me show you another photo.”

  “Now let’s look at the second option. NASA's early rocket research is well documented to have been a complete failure, plagued by one disaster after another. Then, almost overnight, NASA went from nearly every launch being a failure to a near flawless track record, able to land man on the moon multiple times without error.

  “Do we really believe that seventy years ago NASA had the ability to send a manned space vehicle to the moon, land on the moon, take off and return, two trips through the deadly Van Allen Radiation belt, and reentry into the atmosphere without a single mishap?

  “Take a look at this photo. According to their figures, the space capsule weighs 45,000 pounds and is hurtling toward the earth at 25,000 miles per hour. Three chutes to ensure a safe splash down? Really?

  “I could go on and on, but I think you see my point. Which of the two options would seem to be the simplest answer?”

  “You present a very persuasive argument,” I replied. “Very interesting indeed.”

  “But you’re still not convinced,” Speers said, smiling. “I totally understand. I mean, after all, who in their right mind would believe that our government lied to us.”

  That reminded me of something Arnie Goldblume, my friend at the Watchers, said. “Oh, you mean the government that told our soldiers that Agent Orange wasn’t deadly to troops on the ground? The government who said that Vioxx was safe to take?”

  Yes, I thought, the government that says they’re not filling our skies with deadly chemtrails?

  “I see your point,” I said. “Thank you for an interesting evening.”

  We said goodbye to Arlo and Oliver Prentis and headed to Kevin’s car.

  On the way home, Kevin said, “You’re really into this conspiracy stuff, aren’t you?”

  “I just think Speers made some interesting points. It’s something to ponder.”

  “Well, I believe in conspiracies,” Kevin said. “In fact, there’s one conspiracy that’s absolutely baffling.”

  “Oh really? Which one is that?”

  “The weinerbun conspiracy. Have ever noticed that the guys who make hot dogs put ten in a package, but the guys who make buns put eight in a package. Think about it. It’s all a diabolical plan to sell more product. You’d have to buy four packages of weenies and five packages of buns to make it come out even.”

  I was about to rep
ly when my cell phone rang. It was Arlo.

  “Walt! It’s Dr. Speers. He’s dead!”

  CHAPTER 12

  Kevin made a u-turn and we headed back to the church.

  Arlo and Prentis were standing beside a body sprawled on the sidewalk.

  “What in the world happed?” I asked.

  “Dr. Speers left right after you did,” Arlo replied. “Oliver and I stayed behind to put away chairs and clean up. When we came out, we found him like this.”

  Speers was laying on his back. There was an ugly gash on his head which was bleeding profusely.

  I heard sirens in the distance.

  “I called 911 immediately,” Prentis said. “That must be them coming.”

  Minutes later, the street was filled with cop cars.

  Detective Derek Blaylock stepped out of one and headed our way. Needless to say, he was surprised to see Kevin and me.

  “Well, well, Frick and Frack. I’m sure there must be a good reason why you’re at my crime scene.” Then he looked at the church. “I suppose you’re going to tell me you were attending prayer meeting.”

  “Good evening to you too, Derek,” I replied, “and no, we weren’t attending a prayer meeting. It was a meeting of another kind.”

  Then Blaylock spotted Arlo. “The flat earth thing? Jesus, Walt! Is Arlo making a convert out of you?”

  “No, nothing like that. I’m just curious. It’s interesting to hear different points of view. The victim, Dr. Julian Speers, was the guest speaker tonight. He was talking about the space program being a government fabrication.”

  Blaylock rolled his eyes. “Really?”

  “You know Arlo, and this is Oliver Prentis. They found the body.”

  “Did either of you touch anything?” Blaylock asked.

  “Absolutely not!” Arlo replied. “We both know better.”

  “Let’s see what we’ve got,” Blaylock said, squatting to examine the body.

  “Blow to the head. Looks like a skull fracture.”

  He felt in Speers pockets. “No wallet. Was he wearing a watch?”

  I had noticed earlier that Speers was sporting an expensive Rolex. “Yes, he was --- a Rolex.”

  “Well, it’s not here now. Looks like a robbery gone bad.”

  “Uhhh, I don’t think so,” I said.

  “And why is that, pray tell?”

  “The last meeting we attended, there was another incident. When we came out, our cars had been egged, windows were broken, and ‘IDIOT’ had been spray painted on our doors. I think this is a hate crime staged to look like a robbery.”

  “Hate crime? I could buy that if Speers was black or a Jew or gay. I’m sorry, but flat-earthers aren’t a protected class.”

  “It may not fit the normal guidelines, but it’s a hate crime just the same. Whoever did this is sending a message to the flat-earthers --- stop what you’re doing.”

  “I don’t get it. Why would anyone give a damn about a handful of people sitting around trying to convince one another that the world is flat? What could possibly upset someone enough to commit murder?”

  “That’s only part of their message,” I replied. “What scares the bejesus out of someone is their insistence that NASA and the space program were scams from the beginning, and that the government has been lying to the American people for seventy years.

  “If you’ll remember a few years ago, reporter Jack Carson and five others were murdered because they were investigating the chemtrail conspiracy. The government will do most anything to keep their dirty little secrets.”

  Blaylock shook his head. “I’m sorry, please help me understand. Other than a few folks like Arlo here, how many people actually buy into this stuff?”

  “I can help you there, Detective,” Prentis said, repeating the statistics Speers had recited earlier. “Opinion polls taken in various locations have shown that between 6% and 20% of Americans, 25% of Britons, and 28% of Russians surveyed believe that the manned landings were faked. That figure would be much higher if people would just take the time to investigate for themselves and weigh the evidence. Unfortunately, most people are like you and dismiss what we have to say because they just don’t want to believe their government could possibly do such a despicable thing.”

  Blaylock thought for a moment. “Okay, let’s say you’re right and whoever did this is trying to discourage what you do. Any idea who that might be?”

  Prentis shrugged. “It could be anybody. I don’t think we’re talking about trained black ops agents. More likely it’s the trolls.”

  “The what?”

  “Trolls,” Arlo replied. “The term originated on the Internet. They are members of an online social community who deliberately try to disrupt, attack, offend or generally cause trouble within the community by posting certain comments, photos, videos, GIFs or some other form of online content.

  “Thanks to Edward Snowden, we now have solid proof that paid government trolls are using psychology-based influence techniques on social media websites such as YouTube, Facebook and Twitter. What’s even more disturbing is that the government justifies such actions saying their purpose is to disrupt domestic extremist groups.

  “Now it’s possible that many of the trolls have gone beyond social media harassment and are doing it in person. It’s not impossible to think that the government sees the flat-earthers as a domestic extremist group and have sent their minions to keep us quiet.”

  I could see Blaylock was still not convinced.

  “I hear what you’re saying, but if I say in my report that trolls were responsible for this man’s death, my superiors will think I’m smoking the wacky weed. No, unless something else turns up, I’ll have to go with the evidence and write this up as a robbery gone bad.”

  At that moment, Pastor Bob came out of the rectory.

  “What’s all the ruckus? More property damage to your cars?”

  “I wish that’s all it was,” Prentis said, pointing to Speers body. “That’s Dr. Speers. He was murdered.”

  “Good Lord!” Pastor Bob muttered, obviously shaken. “Who would do such a horrible thing?”

  “Detective Blaylock thinks it’s a robbery,” Arlo said, “but Oliver and I believe he was killed because of the message he was sharing.”

  A tear ran down Pastor Bob’s cheek. “For they cannot rest until they do evil. Proverbs. May he rest in peace.”

  There was nothing else Kevin and I could do, so we headed home.

  That night, I tossed and turned thinking about what Prentis said about the trolls. I didn’t believe for a minute that Speers had been killed for his watch and his wallet. The trolls seemed a good place to start.

  Since trolls got their start on the Internet, I figured I should talk to some guys who know a whole lot more about it than I do --- Arnie Goldblume and Nicholas Thatcher. Their organization, the Watchers, was formed to keep an eye on government shenanigans. If Uncle Sam was really hiring creeps to pillage our Facebook pages, they would know.

  “Arnie, Walt here. I’d like to stop by and have a chat if you have time.”

  “We always have time for you, Walt. Come on over.”

  “What’s put a burr under your saddle this time?” Nick asked, smiling.

  “Well, you’ll probably think I’m out of my mind,” I replied. “Everybody else does. I’ve recently attended some flat earth meetings.”

  I saw both of them try to stifle a smile.

  “Hold on a minute!” I said, defensively. “I’m not saying I buy what they’re selling. I’m here because one of them was murdered last night.”

  That got their attention.

  “That’s terrible,” Arnie said. “Anyone we might know?”

  “Dr. Julian Speers.”

  “Oh, no!” Nick said, obviously upset. “We do know Dr. Speers. Not personally, but we know his work. He’s written volumes debunking the space program.”

  “So, you’re familiar with the flat earth theories and the NASA thing?”

&
nbsp; “We are familiar with both,” Nick replied. “But there’s something you must understand. You’re talking about two very distinct things. Pretty much every flat-earther believes NASA is a big lie, but you don’t have to believe the world is flat to believe they’ve been fooling us about NASA all these years. Dr. Speers has put forth some very convincing arguments.”

  “I think it’s possible those arguments are what got him killed.

  “After the first meeting I attended, our cars were egged, windows broken, and doors spray painted with slurs. It was after another meeting last night that Dr. Speers was killed. Oliver Prentis, the head of the flat earth group, thinks it might be the work of government trolls. That’s why I came to you today. I figured you would know if that was even possible.”

  “First of all,” Nick replied, “government trolls online aren’t a fantasy. They’re a fact. A fellow by the name of Greenwald published a copy of a spy training manual entitled The Art of Deception: Training for Online Covert Operations. Greenwald wrote that agencies like the NSA are attempting to control, infiltrate, manipulate, and warp online discourse.

  “In 2008, Cass Sunstein, a close Obama advisor, wrote a paper proposing that the U.S. government employ teams of covert agents to cognitively infiltrate online groups and websites, as well as other activist groups. Sunstein also proposed sending covert agents into chat rooms, online social networks, or even to groups which spread what he viewed as false and damaging conspiracy theories about the government.

  “Your flat earth group would certainly fit that scenario.”

  “As you know,” Arnie said, “both of our fathers died taking the drug, Vioxx, which the FDA and the pharmaceutical industry swore was safe. Naturally, we’ve been keeping a close eye on big pharma.